Forget or forgive?

Amanda da Cruz Costa
3 min readAug 7, 2021

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A few months ago I was betrayed by a close friend. My soul was devastated! I cried a lot, shared this situation with Jesus and I asked for the help of my mentors to go through this process.

Do you know when something happens that breaks your heart?

I felt this way, like a little doll that fell on the ground and broke in a million pieces… But I am also very grateful for this: I grew up, learned to be mature and decided to forgive.

Forgiving is different from forgetting, I had known in theory and now I am learning empirically, with my wishes put to the test. According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, forget means:

  • to lose the remembrance of: be unable to think or recall;
  • to disregard intentionally;
  • to cease re remembering or noticing;

On the flipside, forgive means:

  • to cease to feel resentment against (an offender);
  • to give up resentment of or claim to requital;
  • to grant relief from payment of.

I know that’s super hard to forgive, I am leaving this moment and trying to heal a wound. However, as time went by, I understood that I don’t need to forget all the betrayals and act like nothing happened.

As a Christian girl, I choose to forgive, but as an activist who knows their purpose, I also choose to be strategic, create sollid bonds and not let people manipulate me.

“It doesn’t matter what they did to you. What matters is what you do if what they did to you!”

So, to sum up, I decided to listen to the lessons that all of my pain is teaching me. I choose to be reasonable, wise and make a poem with the situations of my life:

“My life is based on love! Love brings peace, lightness and forgiveness. I choose to look at my past with gratitude, live my present fully, and plan my future wisely. My life no longer belongs to me, I gave it to Jesus Christ. If the creator himself forgave me, I chose to take a deep breath, learn from every situation and also forgive. I let go of all my feelings that pull me down and fly! I fly into the sky, I make some pirouettes and flow with the wind. I decided to learn, forgive and dance in the wonderful grace of my God.”

Graduated in International Relations, Amanda undertakes PerifaSustentavel, is the presenter of Direto da Base, columnist for Agência Jovem de Notícias and Um so Planeta. A Forbes Under 30 leader, Amanda aims to mobilize young people to build an inclusive, collaborative and sustainable planet through the UN Youth Ambassadors, Global Shapers Community and United People Global networks.

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Amanda da Cruz Costa
Amanda da Cruz Costa

Written by Amanda da Cruz Costa

#ForbesUnder 30 | Conselheira Jovem da ONU | Dir. Executiva do Perifa Sustentável

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